Wednesday, November 23, 2005

 

Buckets of Doom Slated for Decommission!

In a press conference early Wednesday morning, President Funbun announced the retirement of the much beloved Buckets of Doom.

President Funbun assured citizens that the decommisioning was in no way an indication to cut funding for the DoomSled Project.

"After 3 years of service the Buckets of Doom began to show stress fractures in vital areas. The fractures were deemed a safety issue by Bueracratic Slouches Who Exist Only to Continue their Existence Safety Task Force (popularly known as the BS commission)," said Pres. Funbun.

Chief Engineer of the DoomSled Project, Bun Fun noted, "The Buckets of Doom were horrible aerodynamically. We could never use both panniers in windy conditions becasuse they slowed us down too much. Given the sleek design of DoomSled, the Buckets of Doom would harm us more than help."

"We plan to redesign the storage area of the cargo system while using the same Hook System. The Hook System is a proven design. The fault lies in the storage area. We plan to use a more tradition bag-like design. It'll be smaller, more aerodynamic and will eliminate the fracture problem," he added.

Critics have suggested this press conference was a ploy by the Funbun Administration to divert attention away from the War on Terror and the resent debacle of Hurricane Katiee.

General Hardcore of the Fon Bon Disaster Unit said, "Stupid fools. How duh Presadent gon' start a hurricane? Yawl fools a trip. An what duh Hell DoomSled got to do with killing some fools tryin' blow us up? As far as terrorism, we gon' kill some mo' fo's. Let a terrorist step up on dis M14. Dat mug'll a be getin' a colostamy bag fuh Critmas."

AP (Associated Phools)

Comments:
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